Tempest
I woke up with a hangover yesterday even though i did not touch a drop(ok, not a hangover. a bluddy splitting headache). why, oh why does my life fit into greeday songs so well? this really says something.
Lost to outram. really disappointed. the early demise of the team is something i will rmb for a long time... this hardly helps me recouperate...earlier my parents had a fight. the past few days were the calm before the storm i guess. as usual they get all emotional and leaving me feeling embaressed for them. what a way to spend the new year huh? dun noe how i should feel over this (besides being embaressed), but to hell with them. I would not allow them to spoil my life. no matter what happens in the end, this is my life. I will live it the way i want.reflected a little in the cny. maybe i have been quite selfish. every man for himself but i should still treat my friends better. my parents' frens came over on the 17th, and after a while i went to playcom, leaving them alone. selfishness. i will try to change that. iwill try not to be an egoistic bastard as well. basically i am trying to improve. thx to everyone for bearing with me in the past.Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore
Drain the pressure from the swelling
The sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine
Embrace the End
Trudged off @9:45 PM
Rock Bottom
just when i thought that things cannot get worse, they did... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is going my way. i felt like a idiot yesterday. can hardly face myself... i have really hit a low. I am in dark mood now... but i am seldomly affected for long. should be better after 24 hrs, i hope. or else going through cny will be a pain...
on a brighter note, the visit back to nanhua is good. happy to see ms wong and ms loo. happy to indulge in the nostalgia that filled me when i recall the happy pri sch days. but reminds me how screwed up i am now...
Embrace the End
Trudged off @10:40 AM
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Vg pms like there is no tomorrow. Scolded jonny jus cos he folded paper airplane. Sent zk outta class for no good reason. Can not stand her anymore even if I tried. But I still have to act nice in front of her. When will this torment end? If not for the legacy wen jun left behind, I would quit cdc, to hell with chairman and cca points. With teachers like that… well I can only say isn't life great?
I had been dreaming for so long. Now the dream is broken and I am awake. I can see my destination clearly in sight. It will be long before I get there, but get there I will. Everyone will. What mattersnow is how the journey there will be like. Process is more important than the end after all. Shan't dwell on matters that have past, or things I cannot control.
Match coming up. I have failed terribly so far. I am not so foolish to blame it on my inexperience. If I am selected to be in the team, I can do it. I cannot blame anything but myself. I will give it my best shot from now on. I will see if I can step up to the challenge.
Now to end off, the song that inspired this post. It reflects my feelings...
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goesBut it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleepsand I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border lineOf the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ahAh-ah, Ah-ah
I walk aloneI walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
Embrace the End
Trudged off @11:55 AM
The Beginning of a New End
I did a lot of thinking lately. Too many things in life are not going as expected. I usually take wateva life throws at me in my stride but that does not mean that I am satisfied. Anyway I shall start my first ever post with a quote, "Hell is stretch of eternal emptiness. There is no pain nor are there no memories. 'That is not so bad,' you may say. But without pain, there is no pleasure. Without sadness there is no joy. Without the past there is no future. Without memories there is no consciousness. What is heaven then? It is furnace, every second there is filled with pain and memories." This ought to leave y'all thinking too.
Recently, I have been really busy. Basketball season, LDP, events for Chinese New Year, coupled with homework and projects. Upcoming events like CDC competition and joint performance with RJ will keep me busy till June. After that, vive la liberté, I can concentrate on friends and other stuff.
Talking about friends, I just realized one thing, once I reach 18, yitao will be my schoolmate for half our lifetimes, and classmates for at least a third. That is a really long time. Well, I hope this can be a life long friendship, even if we part ways, keep in contact k? This goes for whoever considers me their friend. Dun really noe y I am saying this, since most of my friends will be in rj with me, but just felt like expressing this wish ahead of time.
This year is an important year. I will strive hard to do well. But what I have really done in the past 3 years? I dun really noe. Time really seems to fly by, not leaving even the slightest traces behind. This life just seems empty, devoid of true happiness or meaning. What am I doing here? I shall ponder this question as I trudge through the last year in RI. All good things come to an end. Bad stuff too...
Embrace the End
Trudged off @2:35 PM